On Performing

Performing is about more than technical proficiency; it is about connecting with other people. Your performance should reflect who you are, and what you play should reflect what you want to say. Every song is an opportunity to tell the audience something important about yourself.

Let me tell you a story:

When I first started playing clarinet, I had no idea of what most of the keys did, what function they served. What I did know was the melodies I grew up with, and how they made people feel. These keys and their functions would eventually allow me play all the notes I would need in order to play those melodies, but first I would have to practice.

Over the years, I would eventually learn every note and alternate fingering I could so that I could play whatever was in front of me. This core knowledge of my instrument, and the development of that knowledge, was my focus. I was caught up in learning how to play my instrument, that I had forgotten the point of doing so. Music was my job and I was over it.

At the end of my college experience, I was burnt out on practice, and had somehow lost my own connection to music. Over a year went by without me practicing, or performing. I was finished with my degree program, and was out in the world. However, this disconnect was a wall I couldn’t get over. Not before I was asked to play in a series of projects that reshaped my understanding, and started me on a new path: learning how I could use the skills I had to affect people.

First, I played my first musical after college- a high school production of Fiddler on the Roof. Klezmer was a favorite of mine to play while in college, and it was at the core of Fiddler.

Second, I was asked my an old college acquaintance of mine to play in a group focusing on new music, some experimental, some free, all different from my experience.

Third, I was invited to play in a group that focused on indie pop music. A genre that I had wholly rejected years before in the effort of reaching unattainable heights of classical perfection.

These three experiences led to me reshaping my understanding of what music is, and what it can do. That reshaping happened over a decade. I would eventually go on to play in dozens of projects, record on so many albums I can’t recall all of them, and eventually to me forming my own projects as a professional musician. Something for you to know is that I was not ready for any of these three catalysts, and struggled with them. For me, saying yes was out of ignorance, and was about personal growth. I wish I could return to each of these events with what I know now.

Early on in our education, we focus on the tools of our trade. In practicing, we sharpen the axe we use to do our job. It is easy, then, to lose sight of the purpose of this work, and focus on the craft rather than on the original intent. Music is a social experience, and while practice can be a personal endeavor, what we develop is a tool that can be used to reach people where words may struggle.